about the little Tigress

It's been 10 weeks since Kerri came into this world. But it seems like forever to me.


There was once I smsed Dar: "Kerri is sent by God to torture me. Since the day she was born."

Okay, that might have sounded too harsh. But I have my reasons.

First, she made me go through the birth without epidural. The laughing gas was of not help since I could still feel the pain. And the pain was really unbearable. Don't judge unless you've been through the birthing process. Please take note that I am one who cannot tolerate pain. I am terrified of injections, and even refuse to learn cycling and blading all over again as I fear to fall.

Secondly, she is very fierce. When she wants her milk, she wants her milk. The moment she decides that she's hungry, she will wail the house down without giving us even 5 minutes to heat up her milk.

Thirdly, she can't be alone and be still. She needs someone to be at her beck and call. She needs someone to talk to her to keep her entertained. She needs to be carried when she's bored with your attempts to distract her.

Fourth, she sleeps late at night. I would be considered very lucky if I can sleep by 2am nightly. Usually she'll sleep at 2am. Meaning she'll be sound asleep and not wake up every 2-3 minutes fidgeting. After she sleeps, I'll pump milk and pack Kae's school bag, and by the time I'm done with the pumping, packing, washing, it's 3am. So I'll sleep at 3am, and Kerri will wake once before 7am to drink milk. I need to wake at 7am to prepare Kae for school. After Kae leaves the house by 730am, I need to pump milk again. I'm considered damn lucky if I can get 4-5 hours of interrupted sleep daily. I wonder how long more before my body starts to break down.

Sleep in the day when she sleeps then one might say. It's almost impossible to do that. As I've mentioned, she fidgets a lot when she's napping. So I have to be around to rock her. It seems like she knows that I'm not around and if I leave her alone and she'll wake. Also, I need to do my other stuff when she sleeps, like pumping of milk, eating of my lunch, toilet breaks, surfing of the internet, etc. After I'm done with whatever I'm doing, she'll automatically wake from her nap. Hence, I don't have the luxury to snooze with her in the day.

I dunno. It may seem like I've no patience with Kerri. I'm put to shame by a friend who mentioned in her blog that she wants and is trying to be the best mother to her son.

Maybe I'm complaining too much. Maybe it's because Kae was easier to care for previously. Kerri's just a baby. She can't help the way she is. And I lurve my daughter yes. But it's been rather straining for both me and my dar. Yes, he has been helping out in every way he can. And it is quite tiring for him to care for the kiddos too at night, since he needs his rest for work the next day.

Let's wait and see how things go. Hopefully, the situation will improve.