the 2nd change of 2010

I somehow feel that there's a need to justify our decision to put Kae into full day school now, instead of next year when she is eligible for Nursery 1. This came about when one of dar's relative knew of Kae attending school, and seemed somewhat mortified that she has to attend full day school at a tender age of 2.


For those who are still not in the know, the main reason is that we are expecting an addition to our family in end June. Yup. Kae will be having a younger sibling come June. This is the 2nd change for us for the year 2010. The stubborn me is against hiring a maid, so our next best solution is to send Kae to school, so that I can care for the baby in the daytime. I think it will be quite unmanageble to handle both Kae and a newborn in the day solo. Think I will go mad.

Which brings me to my point. Somehow the older generation seems to think otherwise. They were brought up in an era whereby their mothers stay at home to look after herds of them; I mean like 3 children or more. So what's the deal with stay at home mummies looking after just 2 kids? Well, if the mummies now do what the mummies used to, which was to just let the kids play amongst themselves, trust that they can pick themselves up when they fall or knock into anything, let the kids roam around the corridor without a care, play the whole damn day without learning a thing or two daily, that is fine. But the thing is, mummies or parents don't believe in this kind of upbringing anymore, that is if they have a choice or a say in this matter.

Choice: I am lucky to have the choice and chance to care for Kae in her first 2 years since I am a stay at home mum. I can see to everything she needs, tend to her every fall or pain, see her grow both mentally and physically everyday. I can be the one to decide what she can or cannot eat, control what television programmes she watch (baby educational programmes of course :p), be the one she runs to whenever she feels discomfort or just in need of a hug, discipline her in the way I want her to be brought up. I am glad to have this as one of my choices, aside from placing her in infant care when she was just 3 months old, or have her looked after by a maid, a nanny or even the in-laws/parents.

Say: There are the parents who are both working, and are forced with the other options that I did not take up; namely infant care, or in-laws/parents. These parents will not know their babies' habits first hand. They will not be there when their babies do their first flip, when they blabber their first words, when they take their first step. So I am kind of baffled when the parents who leave their babies with the in-laws/parents during the day do not even bring their babies back home with them after work at night, and only bring them back during the short 2 day weekend. Yes, it may be a bit inconvenient especially if the parents live far away. But does the distance really matter in Singapore? How far can you live from one another? It's like what one of my friends said: So why give birth to your kid in the first place if you do not even bother to look after them in the evening when you are not at work? But hey, who is to say I won't do the same thing in future if presented with this choice again?

I guess different people think differently. It doesn't mean that they are bad parents or that I am a good parent. At the end of the day, it's up to the parents to decide what is best for the baby and their family. Just like some people might think that I am being cruel to put Kae in full day school when she can be at my in-laws, since they are already looking after dar's 2 nephews. I won't dwell into that, coz that is another issue altogether, and a long one I might say, so don't even get me started.

At the end of the day, do what you think is the best for your family. I just hate it when people seem to want to criticise how I choose to bring up my kid(s). And I suspect there will be more exclamations to come, especially when the chinese new year season is around the corner. Bleah!