Kerri is still not sleeping through the night. And by not sleeping through the night, I mean she wakes every 2-4 hourly (a wide range) to drink milk, and even during that 2-4 hours, she would fidget all over the bed.
I am getting tired. I can feel the energy being sapped out of me day by day. 15 months ago, I thought, give her 6 months. When she was 6 months old, I thought maybe 3 more months. When she turned 9 months old, I thought, things can only get better. But sadly, till now, nothing has improved.
And now it's kind of worse as she is sharing the bed with me and the hubs. So the hubs also cannot have a good night's sleep. Previously in our old abode, the hubs will sleep with Kae and I sleep will Kerri. But because we want Kae to learn to sleep by herself in her own room now that we've moved, we decided that Kerri should sleep with us.
The worst thing is we have to rock her for like 1-2 hours at least before she drifts off to sleep. Every single night, when time could have be better spent on household chores and on the hubs' work, he will rock her while I put Kae to bed. And I will take over when Kae has fallen asleep.
And when she has slept, I will stay up till around 2am to feed her milk. As by the time I finish my chores and bath and etc, it is already near 1am. Might as well wait to feed her milk so that she won't cry and wake everyone up when she does wake at 2am.
And if I'm lucky, she'll wake at 6am for milk, after which I need to prepare Kae for school at around 640am. But usually I'm not that lucky. She always wakes at round 4-5ish for her 2nd feed of the wee hours.
And don't forget to factor in Kae crying out at night after a nightmare etc, during which I need to rush over to pacify her.
And this doesn't only happen during the night, it happens during the day as well. She now only naps once a day, around 2-3 hours. But she will only stay sound asleep for 45-60 mins. After which is more rocking on my part till she finally opens her eyes at the end of her so called nap.
I really wonder how much time I've wasted by simply rocking her to sleep daily. Easily 2-3 hours gone like that. Just sitting down next to her and rocking her, rocking her. No wonder my butt has grown in size.
When will I get to see the light, I wonder. I am afraid I'm gonna break soon. I have been "calming" myself down by spending $ recently. It's a lot of little things here and there. I really have no idea where all my $ has gone to. Mostly on food and cab fare I suppose. Imagine my horror when I received a sms from one credit card company informing me I've exceeded 80% of my credit limit. And I didn't even get any big ticket items! And lets don't talk about other credit cards which I have. Of which, 1 has my Chanel wallet bill tagged in it.
I am afraid. Very afraid.
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