of Hermes and Chanel

I was out with a friend today, and we touched on the topic of bags.

Yes, bags are the loves of almost every woman's life. Don't ask me why. It's like it's been programmed into our DNA.

Anyway, she mentioned that she is looking to buy a Hermes Birkin/Kelly.

Yup. My girlfriends are all successful working/business females who have more or less carved a niche for themselves after working for 10 years or so. They are able to afford Hermes and Chanel bags, drive their own car, buy their own apartment, go for luxurious overseas trips without battling an eyelid.

While I am stuck at home, taking care of 2 kids, and have to wait for my hubs to give me money every month. I can't spend $ without thinking if I do have enough to pay for the next credit card bills.

And I always feel guilty about asking for a big item gift. So usually I just keep my wish list to myself. Unless of course I have extra bucks to spend (which I did this year and spent a bomb for my standard on a C bag, a C wallet and a pair of SF flats).

And you know what the scary thing is? Even if I stayed in my previous job, I would still not be able to spend $ without battling an eyelid. Because I would not have that kind of spending power with that kind of salary.

Yes yes money is not everything. But the fact is people use your job and salary as a gauge of your success in life.

Which means I am actually a failure.

Don't get me wrong. I am very proud of what my friends have achieved. They didn't have it easy too. But I am just feeling very beaten, even by what could have been if I didn't quit 5 years ago.

And I am very sorry my hubs has to bear the brunt of it all. If he has a wife who has the same earning power as him, he could have spent his money on things he would want to buy ages ago. He would be driving a bigger car and living in a bigger house than now. He would have more cash at hand for investment or for savings. Sometimes I wonder if he is disgruntled and thinks the same way too, when he sees his friends with wives who are all so capable.

Just another day with another negative feeling to vent.